Rise Above Hate

I grew up in the typical small suburban town where everybody knows everybody and everything about each other.

I have been in school with the same kids for the last 9 years, and the school is always posting about “Small School Big Family”. They always have class meetings about how our school is on top of bullying and that is not allowed here.

I say otherwise.

The bullying started for me in 5th grade…

I was having a good first year of middle school. It was a new building and I even made some new friends. We were the best of friends for a good amount of the year too. One day; someone got the whole school to “go against me” and not talk to me. They were telling everybody all these things about me and about my family and I had no idea what was going on. Then at lunch one day I heard this someone told people that they were going to stab me with knives after school. After that, my parents got the  police involved. It was so bad that year and I had to switch schools immediately after. I came back for high school to see how things would go. It was going well until; my whole year just completely flipped. This was around October of my Freshman year. Not only was I getting bullied by my classmates, I was getting mentally bullied by a few of my teachers. A close group of my friends were doing a project together and they decided not to include me, which was fine so I worked alone. Then they decided then to post awful pictures that weren’t even of me and saying these things about me that weren’t true. I couldn’t figure out why they were doing this and I had no idea what to do. I felt so alone; I felt that everyone there was against me. People came up to me in the hallway they would laugh and say: “that was you on so and so’s Instagram or Facebook”. For most of the year, I would go home and cry. I told my mom I didn’t want to go back there ever again. I skipped many days that year. I tried to get help, I went to the guidance counselor who did NOTHING.  Then my parents and I took it to the principal. I showed them all the things that they had written to me on social media, but he said he couldn’t do anything because I wasn’t getting physically hurt. That wasn’t just mentally hurting me,  it was physically hurting me to go see these people everyday. I never wanted to go. I would just cry everyday over the question:

“how could someone do this to me? I’ve never been mean to anyone, why doesn’t anyone care about me?”

The rest of the year, Starting my sophomore year, the physical bullying was started by a group of freshman. They threw things at me and called me unimaginable names when I didn’t give them what they wanted.

This was going on in a classroom.

I guess, the teacher didn’t do anything because they were her star student, so she would let me get torn apart by them…

What was she doing while this was going on? Texting.

Texting on her phone in the back of the classroom.

One time I tried to tell a teacher and since I have been known as the “school’s biggest snitch”.

I am not being a snitch I just want someone to listen.

I just want someone to stop this.

I do not want this just for myself, but for everyone that has to deal with any form of bullying.

No one deserves to be bullied in any way. Not for any reason. Not because of something they do. Not because of the way they look. I will stand up for people that are being bullied and do something. I wish people would not have to be made fun of for doing the right thing. I am still so afraid to tell people around me what’s going on. I’m afraid of what they’ll say.

I used to have the most self confidence, now I don’t even want to stand up in some of my classes.

All my teachers tell me that I need to have more self confidence in myself… Why don’t they do something about the bullying I tell them about; the bullying they see?

Maybe they actually don’t know why I have no self confidence anymore, but their lack of action is the reason.

Although the bullying I go through every day at my school is atrocious, I am more confident because I know I have the strength to overcome their negativity. Even though they tease me I am happy. I try to think about all the positive and kind people in my life, because I don’t have time to deal with those kind of people. 

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